First dates can be an absolute minefield with a lot of us putting unnecessary pressure on the situation. From decisions before you even arrive like what you’re going to wear and where you should go. To in the moment pressure like will there be awkward silences or will they look like their profile photo. And then the end moment of whether you should kiss or not on a first date.
TO KISS OR NOT TO KISS
For me a kiss on the first date is confirmation as to whether or not the guy likes me. I’ve only had one first date where I didn’t end up kissing the guy during it. And that time it ended with a hug and a simple “Nice to meet you” before he ghosted me. I thought it was a great date up until the goodbye exchange. So, it just ended up confirming my theory that a kiss on the first date means a lot.
I’d never really given this much thought until I was watching First Dates and the topic came up. My friend blindsided me by saying that she makes a point of never kissing on the first date. And in turn I threw her when I said that I always kiss on a first date, obviously ignoring ghost boy. At a crossroads we did what all good millennials would do and took to social media.
KISSING ON A FIRST DATE
I ran a poll asking people what their thought were on whether you should kiss on a first date. The options were ‘Always kiss on a first date’, ‘Never kiss on a first date’ and ‘I’ve had both happen’. My friend and I got very invested and loved seeing how the percentages fluctuated over the days. With 160 people participating on the poll ‘I’ve had both happen’ was the overall winner with 60%. Always came in second with 22% of the votes and Never wasn’t far behind with 18%.
I asked people for their insight into their experiences and thoughts about the first date kiss debate. One friend on my side of the fence said “I always kiss on the first date. Except once because he was THAT bad. But if I’m potentially interested, I need to know whether they’re a good kisser ASAP. Because I’m not about to waste my time on a washing machine.” As someone who has had the displeasure of experience this kind of kisser I could not agree more.
MALE AND FEMALE PERSPECTIVE
Jessie from Jessie’s Journal was nice enough to message me with not only her thoughts but her boyfriend’s too. Jessie said “I think it’s completely up to you and how you feel and whether you’re comfortable and click enough. However, saying that I have had amazing first dates, where there’s not been a kiss involved or not. And in both cases, it felt more like really good friends with them.
One was my current boyfriend, but I mis-took our first date for just friends hanging out instead of a date. Maybe because there wasn’t any sort of ‘intimacy’. It’s kind of just an expectation isn’t it? Like it just happens at the end of the date to solidify your attraction to them and to say you had a good time. But then again, you can definitely feel almost forced to because of the expectation.”
Her boyfriend gave us a male insight with his thoughts “It’s all about judgement of the situation and emotions. Sometimes kissing on the first date can make you appear too eager and that you want it too much. But on the contrary it can also represent your feelings and attraction for that person. I always think a kiss is a possibility if the date does go well but is not a certainty. And if it doesn’t happen, he would probably wonder why but it wouldn’t necessarily drive him away.”
I also debated the topic of whether you should kiss on a first date with my work husband. He was on the opposing side saying “If you don’t kiss on the first date it can leave them wanting more. And it will give you both a reason to agree to a second date.” To which I obviously did not agree because my one first date sans kiss did not lead to a second. And of course, we ended up bickering like the old married couple that we seem to be.
So, whilst my opinion has not changed on whether to kiss on the first date, I have enjoyed debating this. And maybe if I have another first date without a kiss at the end I might not rush to conclusions. I might not message all my single girlfriends straight away telling them how I’m not getting a second date. Or more likely I’ll stick to my usual dramatic overreacting personality style and will absolutely message them all. I’d love to know your thoughts and experiences with the first date kiss debate and moment.